Afterly

Frequently Asked Questions:

 

Donation of Organs (or entire body)

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Do you want to save people by donating your organs when you die? When your time comes your organs may be used to save many lives. People often become donors after a stroke, heart attack or severe head injury. Cases vary. The following describes the basic steps in donation from deceased donors. HERE. ​

 

Save a Life!

A number of organs and tissues can be transplanted. These include the heart, lung, kidney, liver, pancreas, intestines, cornea, and tissues such as skin and bones. Based on the designated organs donated, a single donor could in fact, save as many as eight other lives. With ongoing advance in medical care and procedures, the types of organs and tissues that can be successfully transplanted continues to grow. Visit the U.S. Department of Health & Human Service organdonor.gov for more information and a more comprehensive list of what can be donated.

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What is the difference between a funeral service and a memorial service?

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These days with the term “memorial service” or simply "memorial" more common, we are often asked just what the difference is between a funeral and a memorial service?  A funeral service and a memorial service both serve the same purpose - they are the ritual through which we formerly say goodbye to our departed loved one.  Both can be as long or short as required and focus on being a tribute and celebration of the life of the person departed. 
 

A Memorial Service

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A memorial generally takes place some time after the death and disposition has occurred.  It is usually a service specifically to memorialize the life of the deceased.  If a cremation has been performed, often a memorial is conducted to inter or scatter the cremated remains, at the same time as the celebration of the deceased’s life.  A memorial can also be held following a private funeral service.  Sometimes family will arrange a private family funeral, and then hold a memorial at a later date when family who could not attend the funeral can gather.  A memorial is often held when someone had particular ties to a community as a ritual to help people pay their last respects.

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A Funeral Service

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A funeral service typically takes place with the body of the departed present, whereas a memorial takes place without the actual body present.  A funeral service can refer to a traditional graveside burial service, or it can refer to a funeral service conducted in a chapel when a cremation is later performed.  A funeral service most often is conducted within a week of the death occurring.

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How to choose whether to have a funeral or memorial service

How you decide to memorialize your loved one should be an entirely personal choice, and observing the wishes of the deceased.  We often hear the quote that “funerals are for the living”, which of course they are.  But too often family are swayed into a funeral service that can become overwhelming, driven by our social concerns with what other people will think. 

 

What is a Non-Religious Funeral?

All religions have traditions and rituals that serve to honor the dead and assist bereaved families in handling their grief. The need for a fitting way to remember a departed loved one and say goodbye is universal, even among the non-religious. A non-religious funeral means a ceremony to honor the deceased that is not tied to the traditions, rituals, or beliefs of any particular religion. Many of the same elements, such as eulogies and non-religious funeral readings, are used.

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A non-religious funeral serves to help mourners express their sadness and offer their condolences to the family. Often, the funeral service becomes a celebration of the life that the deceased person lived.

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Non-Religious Funeral Traditions

Because there are no traditions set for non-religious burial ceremonies, they tend to be highly personalized. That means guests can expect, among other things, inspirational readings and stories about the deceased person’s life as told by friends and family.

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Funeral Format

Funeral services may need to adhere to the set traditions and customs of the deceased or the family. However, by pre-planning your own service, this is eliminated. Non-traditional or non-religious funerals may not adhere to any particular religious traditions, but they do often follow the same general format: an opening statement, stories from friends and family, a eulogy from a respected member of the community, a moment of silence or meditation, and perhaps some music. One common element typically found is readings. A purpose of most funerals is to gather the bereaved to remember the deceased and comfort the grieving family. Non-religious funeral readings, whether they are from famous works of prose and poetry or written just for the service, have a way of bringing everyone together during the ceremony.

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Displaying the Deceased

If the deceased person did not follow a particular religion, the only guidelines about cremation, autopsies, and embalming would come directly from the individual or the individual’s family. Therefore, guests who attend a non-religious funeral can expect a range of scenarios: an open casket funeral, a closed-casket funeral, or a funeral where the ashes of the departed are present in some type of ceremonial urn.

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Green Burials

Attendees can expect almost anything, in fact. Some new and growing non-religious funeral traditions include a ‘green burial.’ Also called ‘eco-burials’ or ‘natural burials,’ they often entail a biodegradable coffin and a quick burial. A growing trend is for BIO-CREMATION or water cremation (actually developed in 1888). Therefore, expect the funeral to be within 24 or sometimes 48 hours of death. Green burials often skip the step of preserving the body by embalming, so the funeral service is most likely to feature a closed casket.

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Donations

Donations to charity are usually an appropriate way to honor the deceased, no matter what beliefs they held to during their lifetime. Other ways to honor the deceased is by delivering some type of tribute to the life lived. For green burials, it might be appropriate to give potted plants as gifts of sympathy. Cut flowers rely on resource-heavy flower farming, which may not be in accordance with ‘green’ principles supported by the deceased. Sending locally sourced, organic flowers can also be an appropriate way to show your sympathy for the deceased person’s family.

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Funeral Celebrant

The funeral celebrant could be anyone the family deems proper to lead the ceremony. It might be a family member or a respected member of the community. Sometimes the funeral planner or director provides guidance on the format of the service, helping the family prepare a fitting service for the deceased. Each provider will be able to arrange a celebrant who will honor your beliefs and help you say good buy in a loving fashion.

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Venue

The venue for a non-traditional funeral service could be anywhere the family designates, from hotel party spaces to museum galleries and restaurants. From a simple memorial service at home, to a full-fledged ceremony on a golf course or botanical garden that reflects the deceased person’s life and tastes, non-traditional funerals are typically highly personalized, including the location of the ceremony. For celebration memorials, hotels tend to offer the better packages. Talk to your planner for details on the latest offers nearby.

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